Monday, 27 June 2016

"You should've seen the other fella."

Subtle subtext through the week, I glean that 'bird behind the bar' had a boyfriend.
In other news, that bruise is cycling nicely through the colours of the rainbow.
What shade would you say that is now? Puce tinged with shame?

Monday, 20 June 2016


Dear Co-Worker,
Wow. That’s quite a shiner. If you still played any sports I’d assume the ball had kicked you back. While I’m totally loving this new silent you, I’m desperate to know what happened.

Monday, 13 June 2016

Step away from the cake

Dear Co-worker,
Thanks for helping me to stay healthy. I was going to treat myself to a post 5k run danish but the thought of your smug face watching me eat it made me change my mind.

Monday, 6 June 2016

Bar fly

So, dear Co-worker...
Got a crush on the new 'bird behind the bar' at your local have we?
Maybe if you stopped referring to them as 'birds' a girl might take pity on you long enough to go on a date.