Monday, 28 March 2016

Happy Easter

Dear Co-worker,
Watching the postman go past the window every day probably doesn't make you an expert on the Easter delivery policy of the Royal Mail.

Monday, 21 March 2016


Dear Co-worker,
I'm very sorry you answered the phone after 5 o'clock on Friday and got a boring client that just wanted to chat.
I feel your pain. Really I do.
Especially since you've now relayed the entire conversation, word for word, to each member of staff that's come in.

Monday, 14 March 2016

Let me stop you there...

Dear Co-worker,
Yes, that client clearly DOES need you to explain what a tax return is and I'm gratified that you have the knowledge to be able to enlighten them.
But as I just told you in person, "don't tell me, email them."
Time spent yapping, could be time spent typing.

Friday, 11 March 2016

Don't ask, don't get.

Dear co-worker,
I’m nipping to the shop quickly to get a sandwich. When I asked “does anyone want anything” you’re supposed to reply “no”

Thursday, 10 March 2016

Taking the...

Dear Co-worker,
No it's fine. You have BOTH biscuits at the end of the pack.
(PS I'm glad they turned out to be stale and crumbly)

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Get this!

Dear co-worker,
no matter how well informed and well-reasoned your argument may be, the fact that you habitually start every response to someone with "I get that, but" immediately makes you sound like an arrogant knob to be disregarded.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

The Art of Distraction

Dear co-worker, no I’m not typing on Facebook to make it appear that I’m actually working so you will stop talking to me. Nope, not at all.

Monday, 7 March 2016

The Art of Conversation.

Dear Co-worker,
It is possible for you and I to have a conversation.
A conversation is where you say something and I listen then I say something and you listen, then repeat.
It does not have to end with you giving a long and winding monologue on the history of football, Manchester United's new manager, the music industry, the history of the company we work for (and have for nearly 20 years so I have kinda heard it...) or any other topic you feel you're an expert in.