Plot thickens...

2pm. Co-worker walks in. Something odd about him. 

Shirt a bit whiter? Hair combed? Different tie without stains?

 Wait! Has someone been for an interview?

Absence makes the heart...

Bliss.

No co-worker today. Got loads done. Even had a laugh with the boss without it being hijacked for a ten minute lecture.

*wonders where co-worker is. Not well?

Cheeky butty.

Office faux pas narrowly avoided.
After a boozy night, Co worker turns up with a greasy bacon butty this morning.

"Who cares if it takes a few years off my life?"

Knee-jerkly opened my mouth to say "I don't" but stopped the sound before it came out.

#tact

Doing it old school.

Co-worker- "By the time I was 16, I was totally bored with school."
Me- "I suppose you knew it all by then."

No one likes a smuggie.

Dear Co-worker,

All the smug looks, asides and hints are becoming really tiresome.

If you want to tell me you've applied for another job, just come out with it.

Paging Victoria Coren Mitchell

Dear Co-worker,

Please stop demanding my attention.

This Only Connect wall is against the clock you know!

Not wanted on voyage?

Dear Co-worker,

Yes, I agree that stag dos are getting a bit out of hand when you have to go to New York or Thailand for a week.

But don't worry. It's very unlikely you'll ever be invited on one.