Another happy bank holiday!

What Co-worker says he's doing on the bank holiday:

What he's probably really doing:

Starting with the Man in the Mirror

Dear Co-worker, thanks so much for sharing.

So when you've had a drink you see yourself as Sean Connery huh?

"The namesh Co-Worker. Dear Co-Worker."

Hanging on the telephone

Dear Co-worker,
Yes, you're very clever for keeping cold callers on the phone for fifteen minutes, keeping them off script, calling their bosses a bunch of crooks and trying to discover their company details so you can give them YOUR prepared speech about how they if haven't filed accounts for two years and are due to be struck off blah blah blah.

But even if you do recount the whole conversation to me word for word, there is only so much validatory platitude I can give. Please desist now.

The Social Network

Dear Co-worker, what a wide circle of friends you have. For almost every topic of conversation you have a "mate in my pub" connected to it. It must be amazing to have such a varied social life.

What Co-worker thinks his local pub is like:

What it might actually be like:

Democratic duty

Dear co-worker,
I get it. You're feeling disenfranchised. You don't like any of the parties. So spoil your balot paper. Protest in the streets. Moan on twitter.
DON'T hand your balot paper to your kid nephews to fill in. There's a reason why the nutjob parties have the most eye-catching logos.

Happy bank holiday!

What Co-worker says he'll be doing on the bank holiday:

What he's probably really doing: